Seeing for the first time…again

I find it interesting that the word smothering is only one additional letter from mothering, which is exactly how mothering feels like some days; smothering. Now please hear my heart, I love my children and I am so thankful for the privilege of motherhood but a woman does need to be able to use the restroom without interruptions or visitors!

Reading through the book of Mark with my children has been eye opening to me; I have always read the gospels through so quickly that I didn’t take time to ponder the flow of Jesus’ life. Reading it in small batches each day, expounding on the small points so that my five year old understands it, makes me really understand it too. And much to my delight, I see Jesus constantly surrounded by crowds of people, so much so that He and his disciples cannot even eat! That brings comfort to this mommy who is often crying out, “Can’t I just eat please?”  The beauty of it for me, is that I see Jesus never got frustrated with the crowds, he didn’t yell at them to just leave him alone, He patiently taught them and healed them. Now I acknowledge that Jesus is fully God (and human) and perfect, both of which I am not (thank goodness!) but he is my example and I think I have realized his secret.

He knew that his earthly ministry was limited to three short years. He knew that the hearts in those crowds were desperate for his life, his teachings, his hope and those were the only years He had to show it to them. His years on this earth were limited and most of all, he was teaching his disciples the most important things so that when His time was finished they would know how to go and spread his life to the world.

Thankfully God has given me the same opportunity. Every day I am smothered by mothering, yet I realize that these are short years indeed and every time that my daughter calls “Mommy look!” I need to stop and look, because that only lasts a few short years. Some days feel like they will never end but the years do fly by. I know too, that each day I have the privilege to walk in such a way that when my children leave my house and live on their own, they will know the way to walk.

I want them to know that each day, we can’t do it by ourselves, we need God each day. I love how my son loves to hear the scripture reading each day, he gets excited when he knows what Jesus is doing, like a miracle. The scriptures are alive and breathing to him, and I remember in that moment that yes, they are truly amazing. These stories can grow stale after years of hearing or being taught about them, but when I see my son hear the story for the first time, I feel the awe once again and breathe a small thank you to God for his everlasting power. Jesus was God, yet fully man, and thankfully one that in those moments of my day, that I feel like I can never get a little time to myself, he whispers in my heart, “I know darling, I have been there too. Just hold on, it will be over before you know it.”

This is the God that I have given my life over to, the one that is always with me, who understands because he was a man, tempted just like me, and knows how it feels to be smothered and yet chose to die to yourself and delight in those smothering you. He is Immanuel who has come for each of us.

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

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One thought on “Seeing for the first time…again

  1. Beautiful post. I can so relate! Now that my youngest is 5, I can see how quickly those early years went by, and I am able to savor our time together even more. I appreciate the tie to how Jesus felt during his ministry. Thanks for this! ~Carolyn

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